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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28328787">Family Dinner</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bouncymouse/pseuds/bouncymouse'>bouncymouse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Shinra Holiday 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020), Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Christmas Fluff, F/M, Family Dinners, Family Fluff, Fluff, Mentioned Reno/Tifa, ShinraHoliday2020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:28:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,042</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28328787</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bouncymouse/pseuds/bouncymouse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rude cooks Christmas Dinner. Sometimes, your family isn't the one you're born into. For #ShinraHoliday2020</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elena &amp; Reno &amp; Rude &amp; Tseng (Compilation of FFVII), Elena/Tseng (Compilation of FFVII), Tifa Lockhart/Reno</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Shinra Holiday 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Shinra Holiday 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Family Dinner</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Day 6 of #ShinraHoliday2020, for the prompt "Family Dinner".</p><p>Merry Christmas, guys &lt;3</p><p>Am I setting myself up for day 7 being an absolute pain in the ass? Yes. Yes, I am.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a scene of perfectly organised chaos.</p><p>Dishes were lined up on the granite counter, each one containing something different from the last, a neat parade of vegetables, peeled, chopped and arranged by cooking time. Sprouts were at the end of the line-up—nobody wanted an over-cooked sprout—and potatoes at the beginning, a selection of seasonal produce filling in the spaces between. Jars of seasonings were divided by dish, cups of wine and stock measured carefully and waiting to be used. There was even a list of timings printed and taped to the cupboard door above him.</p><p>Christmas Dinner was a military operation, and Rude was the commander-in-chief.</p><p>He enjoyed cooking. Like many of his skills, it required finesse. Unlike his other talents, it was a lot more wholesome and rarely ended with a body in a bag. Humming to himself, he took a sip of the glass of wine he’d also poured (chef’s prerogative) and surveyed the scene. The turkey was resting, and the stuffing was done. The potatoes were roasting… All that remained was to cook the veg and make the gravy. His gravy was famous, at least amongst their compact unit, awarded notoriety by Elena and Reno’s disbelief that you could make gravy from actual ingredients, and not just by adding boiling water to granules.</p><p>He nodded, satisfied at a job well done, and straightened out his apron.</p><p>It was bright purple, the words <em>‘kiss the chef’</em> emblazoned on the sturdy cotton in large, lime green letters. It was completely horrendous to look at, but in true Reno fashion, he’d gifted the gaudiest, most hideous thing he could find yet still took the time to ensure it would be useful. There were pockets for utensils and Rude’s PHS, and it was more than large enough to protect the burgundy cashmere roll-neck he wore from splashes and stains.</p><p>It was actually an upgrade from his old apron, a slightly stained and pocketless affair that hadn’t survived Reno’s attempts at helping in the kitchen. It was scratchy, black, and apparently super flammable when left on the hob.</p><p>It’d gone up pretty quickly. Once they put out the flames and silenced the smoke alarm, Rude relegated Reno to the lounge with a cold beer and threats of physical violence if he breached the sacred space of the kitchen again. The deal stuck—a different sort of Christmas tradition. Reno even provided his own beer now, making a point of not crossing the doorway and keeping up a running commentary between the kitchen and the lounge for Rude’s benefit.</p><p>A timer sounded. Rude switched it off and lifted the lid on a bubbling saucepan. A quick stab with a fork decided that the potatoes were done, and he drained the water into the sink before throwing butter, salt and pepper into the pan.</p><p>This year, he was cooking for five. Rufus didn’t always spend Christmas with the Turks, often required to fill his late father’s shoes at gatherings of the extended Shinra family, but this year snow left him stranded in Edge. Protesting that he was utterly devastated, he hadn’t been able to keep the grin off his face when Tseng suggested he join them. Saved from a Christmas Day filled with fake smiles and forced conversation, Rufus even promised to bring dessert.</p><p>A buzzer cut over the kitchen sounds, dragging Rude’s attention from the potatoes he was mashing. He leaned over, pressing the button for the intercom.</p><p><em>“Let me in, it’s fucking freezing,”</em> complained the tinny voice. <em>“And there’s a woman out here looking at me funny… Take a picture, it’ll last longer!”</em></p><p>Rude squeezed the utensil in his hand a little too tightly. “Door’s open.”</p><p>Moments later, Reno sauntered up to the kitchen doorway, one hand shoved in his jacket pocket, the other balancing a crate of beer. He stopped before his scuffed boots crossed the threshold, lining them up perfectly against the edge of the carpet.</p><p>“Hey, which neighbour is it that doesn’t like me? The bald guy with the limp or the skinny guy that looks like a Chocobo shit in his cereal?”</p><p>“Neither of them like you,” said Rude, taking the crate of beer and heading for the fridge. Knowing his audience, he pulled a bottle out before he closed the door.</p><p>“Really? Oh… well… I think I just pissed off Chocobo shit’s girlfriend, so he probably hates me even more now.”</p><p>Rude held out the beer. “Bottle opener is on the table.”</p><p>“I don’t get it, I really don’t. I’ve done fuck all to either of them…” Reno’s voice trailed off as he wandered into the next room. Rude heard him burst out laughing and he returned, bottle opener in hand. “Nice touch.”</p><p>Rude smirked. Reno was twirling the other ridiculous gift he’d given Rude for Christmas around his finger. The thing must’ve been thirteen inches, the phallic design painted to be as realistic as possible, balls and all. It even had veins.</p><p>“You forget about last Christmas?” Rude asked, ignoring the novelty bottle opener.</p><p>“What about it?”</p><p>Last Christmas, an inebriated Reno serenaded Rude’s entire floor just after midnight, replacing some more well-known Christmas songs with lyrics of his own creation. Neither of Rude’s neighbours was impressed, especially when Reno started singing about them.</p><p>He was still turning the bottle opener in his hand, his grin turning lecherous. “Biggest one I could find, and it’s still smaller than mine.”</p><p>“In your dreams.”</p><p>“Hey man, it’s okay to be jealous.” Reno opened his beer, froth spilling over the sides of the bottle. “Shit…”</p><p>The intercom buzzed again. Rude pressed it, swiping a tea-towel off the counter and handing it to Reno. He dropped it on the floor, using his boot to mop up the spilt beer.</p><p>Rude rolled his eyes.</p><p>A blonde head appeared over Reno’s shoulder.</p><p>“Merry Christmas, sir,” said Reno, stepping aside to make room. “Want a beer?”</p><p>Rufus hovered behind him. There were dark shadows beneath his eyes, and his already pale complexion was a touch green against the collar of his black shirt. He was holding a flat, white box in his hands.</p><p>He grimaced, shaking his head. “No.”</p><p>Rufus didn’t look well at all. Rude decided not to point it out. He took the box. “Fridge?”</p><p>Rufus nodded.</p><p>Showing far less tact, Reno tilted his head. “No offence, but you look like shit.”</p><p>“No offence, <em>but…</em> famous last words,” said Rufus dryly, leaning against the doorframe. “And thank you. I’ll remember that next time I review your salary.”</p><p>“When I said shit, I meant… Hey, is that a new shirt? That’s a <em>great</em> shirt.”</p><p>“Water?” Rude offered, grabbing a glass from a cupboard overhead as Reno desperately tried to backpedal. “There’s aspirin if you need it.”</p><p>“Please,” said Rufus. “Apparently I can’t drink like I used to.”</p><p>Rude filled the glass from the kitchen tap and opened a draw, rooting around for a packet of aspirin. Rufus accepted it gladly, popping two of the white pills and washing them down with a mouthful of water.</p><p>“You both look remarkably fine,” said Rufus.</p><p>Reno shrugged. “I don’t get hangovers.”</p><p>“There’s a word for men like you.”</p><p>“Assholes?” Rude suggested, grinning into his wine.</p><p>“Yes.” Rufus clapped Reno on the shoulder. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to sit down for a while.”</p><p>“He looks fucking rough,” said Reno, when Rufus was out of earshot. “Did we really drink that much?”</p><p>Rude nodded.</p><p>“Huh...” Reno frowned. “It was fun though.”</p><p>Rude turned back to the hob to make a start on his gravy. He’d already measured the butter and flour. Picking up the dishes, he tipped them into the pan and started stirring.</p><p>Behind him, Reno made himself comfortable against the doorframe Rufus recently vacated. He took a long pull from his beer. “Where’s Tseng? He’s usually the first one here.”</p><p>Satisfied that he cooked the flour out, Rude reached for the cup of stock. “He’ll be coming with Elena.”</p><p>“Oh… yeah…” Reno was studying the label on his beer bottle, lost in thought. “Tseng and Elena…”</p><p>Rude waited. He’d get to the point, eventually.</p><p>“I mean…” Reno sighed. “Anytime you want to jump in here, feel free.”</p><p>It wasn’t exactly a surprise to find that the pair were an item. Rude saw it coming a mile off, helped along by accidentally spotting them kissing in Tseng’s office after hours one evening. He didn’t mention it to Reno, who’d already spent the good part of six months trying to wheedle a confession out of Elena. It was their private business, after all, despite rumours in the office being rife. </p><p>Elena was like a little sister, albeit a little sister that could rip your balls off if she wanted to. If she was happy, Rude was happy, and he assumed Reno felt the same way. It was just strange to have the worst-kept-secret at Shinra HQ finally out in the open.</p><p>“It’s good,” said Rude.</p><p>“Yeah! It <em>is</em> good. I’m happy for them.”</p><p>“But?”</p><p>“Who said there was a but?” He rubbed at the condensation on the bottle, not quite meeting Rude’s eye.</p><p>“You’re happy for them, <em>but…”</em></p><p>“I dunno…” Reno looked up. “I don’t fancy trying to break Tseng’s legs if he hurts her.”</p><p>“Ah.” Suddenly, Reno’s jitters made more sense.</p><p>“I mean, I will,” Reno added quickly. “But I’d feel bad about it, you know?”</p><p>“After you woke up from the coma?”</p><p>“Well…”</p><p>“He won’t,” said Rude decisively, tapping the spoon on the side of the saucepan.</p><p>“What, hurt Elena? Or put me in a coma?”</p><p>Rude shrugged.</p><p>“I know he won’t hurt her,” said Reno. “But… you know… what if he does?”</p><p>“They wouldn’t have told us if it wasn’t serious.”</p><p>“That’s true,” Reno conceded. “She’d break his legs first, anyway.”</p><p>Rude nodded. The intercom buzzed again.</p><p>“Speak of the devil.” Reno looked back along the hallway, grinning. “Wonder what she gave Tseng for Christmas.”</p><p>Rude stared at him, lost for words.</p><p>Thirty seconds later, the front door crashed open, bouncing off the wall. A framed photograph depicting a much larger gang of Turks than the four current members fell off its pin, smashing on the floor.</p><p>“What the…”</p><p>Reno was already adopting a defensive stance, as Rude reached for the loaded pistol he kept in the drawer next to the sink.</p><p>“She’s my sister,” they heard Elena screech. Rude relaxed his fingers as the door clicked shut a little too carefully. “I don’t see the problem. One meal. That’s all I’m asking for!”</p><p>He looked at Reno, eyebrows raised.</p><p>“Erm…” Reno scratched the back of his neck.</p><p>“You’ve never shown an interest in seeing your sister before,” Tseng replied coolly. “Why now?”</p><p>“Because it’s Christmas!”</p><p>“So visit her.”</p><p>“I want you to come with me!”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Why?” A pair of shoes thudded into the wall. Reno ducked, and Rude mourned the ivory wallpaper in his hallway. <em>“Why?</em> You’re my boyfriend, that’s why!”</p><p>There was a slight pause.</p><p>“He’s not that fucking stupid,” said Reno loyally. “He wouldn’t-”</p><p>“So you want to parade me around like a new handbag?” Crisp footsteps rang out, heading for the lounge. “If you want to gloat, fine. Don’t expect me to get involved.”</p><p>Reno laughed nervously. “Do you think we should-”</p><p>“No,” said Rude, watching the wooden spoon glide through the glossy gravy in the pan. “Definitely not.”</p><p>“If you want to sleep on the sofa, <em>fine,”</em> Elena mimicked. Her voice was dripping sarcasm, and another distinct set of footsteps stalked towards the kitchen. “But don’t expect me to get involved!”</p><p>She turned the corner, shoving past Reno as she stormed into the kitchen. A woman possessed. In honour of the occasion, she was wearing a glittery red sweater, her blonde hair styled in dishevelled waves that bounced around her jaw as she walked. The colour complimented the flush in her cheeks and the sparks in her dark eyes.</p><p>“Hi, guys. Food smells great.” She spun on her heel, leaning heavily against the counter next to Rude and drumming her nails against the surface behind her. “Where’s the wine?”</p><p>“Merry fucking Christmas,” said Reno, rubbing his side where she’d elbowed him on the way past.</p><p>“Piss off,” she snapped, rolling her eyes. “Oh… sorry about the photo frame.”</p><p>Rude reached for a glass and the bottle of wine he was cooking with. He poured a generous measure of the golden liquid and held it out.</p><p>“You look nice,” he hazarded.</p><p>“Thanks.” She drained half the glass in one gulp. “Merry Christmas.”</p><p>It sounded more like a threat than a greeting.</p><p>“Yeah… looks like it,” said Reno. “What the hell was all that about?”</p><p>“Tseng thinks he’s too good to visit my family for Christmas.”</p><p>“Well…” Reno was scratching his neck again, looking to Rude for backup.</p><p>“Don’t you dare,” she hissed.</p><p>“But you and your sister don’t even-”</p><p>“Reno,” Rude warned, realising exactly where the conversation was heading.</p><p>Elena and her older sister took sibling rivalry to a new extreme. She was a Turk too, back in the day, and Elena always had to be smarter, stronger, <em>better.</em> Rude understood it, the burning desire to overachieve. It was why he and Reno were such good friends, knowing that whatever else happened, they were damn good at their job. Reno just approached it from a slightly more insubordinate angle.</p><p>Rude liked that Elena was competitive. It made long days in the office more bearable, pitting her and Reno against each other.</p><p>Reno didn’t take the hint. “But-”</p><p>She started toward him, wine sloshing in her glass. “So you’re taking his side?”</p><p>Rude fixed Reno with a look. <em>I tried to warn you.</em></p><p>“No, but-”</p><p>“But what?”</p><p>Reno grinned, finally stepping into the kitchen. He slumped against the counter next to Elena and threw his arm around her. When she tried to struggle, he pinned her against his side and planted a kiss on her cheek. “Your hair looks great. Stop being a miserable bitch, it’s Christmas.”</p><p>“Get off me, asshole.”</p><p>“That sweater really suits you,” Reno added. “Getting serious murder vibes.”</p><p>She was still struggling to free herself. “Don’t be a creep.”</p><p>“I’ll spit in his beer if you want me to?”</p><p>She stopped struggling, a mean smirk creeping across her face. “Maybe.”</p><p>He patted her on the head. “That’s my girl.”</p><p>Relieved that Elena’s temper at least was simmering down, Rude pointed at the kitchen door. “Reno, out.”</p><p>“What? But I was just-”</p><p>“Out!”</p><p>“Fine,” Reno grumbled, arm still wrapped around Elena’s shoulders as he marched her from the room. “We’re going.”</p><p>Rude turned back to the stove, reaching for the gravy boat, satisfied that peace in the kitchen was restored. Setting the gravy aside, he mentally ticked off his list of timings and reached for the bowl of carrots.</p><p>He had a whole twenty minutes to himself before he heard raised voices again. He was stirring butter through the carrots when a presence in the doorway distracted him. Tseng was watching him, leaning on the doorframe with his arms folded.</p><p>“The atmosphere in here is a little warmer,” he said, by way of a greeting.</p><p>Rude decided not to pass comment on the tiny smudge of red lipstick on his white collar.</p><p>“The President has gone to lie down,” Tseng continued. “I don't think he appreciated the shouting.”</p><p>Rude tipped the buttered carrots into a serving dish and slid them into the oven next to the rest to keep warm. “Beer?”</p><p>Tseng inclined his head when Rude straightened up. “I suppose I should apologise.”</p><p>He didn't specify who he needed to apologise <em>to.</em></p><p>Rude grabbed two bottles of beer from the fridge and selected a far less provocative bottle opener from a drawer. He popped the caps, holding one out to Tseng.</p><p>“Do you need help?” Tseng asked, taking the proffered beer. He was staring at the neat list stuck to the cupboard.</p><p>“No, sir. It’s all under control.”</p><p>Tseng nodded glumly and took a sip of his beer. When he spoke again, his voice was wry. “I know at least a dozen different ways to kill a man.”</p><p>Rude chuckled. “So does she.”</p><p>“Yes… I taught her most of them, I’m sure. She still <em>insists</em> on pushing me.” His expression softened slightly, the tension draining from his shoulders. “You’re on her side?”</p><p>“She’s only asking for dinner,” Rude said diplomatically, as music started playing in the lounge.</p><p>“I’d be disappointed if you weren’t.”</p><p>Rude pictured Elena’s shy smile the night before, when she kissed Tseng on the cheek. She liked him, Rude could tell. She was definitely happy.</p><p>“She’s excited. She wants to show you off… sir,” he added, as an afterthought. The conversation made him feel like a sailboat, lost at sea.</p><p>“Perhaps…” Tseng tilted his bottle, watching the contents swirl inside. “So you think I should go?”</p><p>“Gongaga isn’t far.”</p><p>“True.” Tseng took another sip of his beer. “I should’ve seen this coming… I’d hoped to keep her to myself a little while longer.”</p><p>The music in the lounge increased in volume before a strangled yell had them both looking to the door. Rude blinked slowly, picturing his neighbours’ surly faces. It wasn’t long before the singing started, Reno’s voice more than a little off-key.</p><p>“Reno!” Elena didn’t sound happy. “I don’t want to—<em>Reno!”</em></p><p>Rude looked at Tseng.</p><p>He shrugged. “She can handle herself.”</p><p>“Reno, I swear-” There was a loud thump, followed by a crash.</p><p>Tseng rolled his eyes and headed towards the lounge.</p><p>Another timer chimed. Rude switched it off, tipping another finished side into a dish. Lunch was almost ready, provided nobody killed anybody first. Setting his last timer, he grabbed his beer off the counter and went after Tseng.</p><p>Rounding the corner, he headed for the open lounge door. Tseng was picking up a knocked-over chair, struggling to suppress a smile. In the centre of the room, Reno was waltzing Elena around in a slow circle, crooning Christmas songs in her ear. She was giggling, her empty wine glass clutched in the hand that was wrapped around Reno’s neck.</p><p>He twirled her messily, sending her staggering into Tseng.</p><p>“Think this belongs to you?” Reno grinned.</p><p>She wound her arms around Tseng’s waist, pressing her flushed cheek to his chest. He kissed the top of her head.</p><p>“We’ll visit your sister in the new year,” he said. “Once we’ve finalised the Icicle deal.”</p><p>Elena peered up at him. “Really?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Thank you!” She squeezed him a little tighter. Rude saw him exhale, his mouth forming a smile. “She worries about me... kind of... I just want her to see that I'm okay.”</p><p>“Hmm…” Tseng skimmed his thumb along her jaw.</p><p>In the background, Reno mimed being sick.</p><p>“What did I miss?” Rufus walked into the lounge, yawning widely. He perched on the arm of the sofa, his expression far less green than it was before. </p><p>“Tseng and Elena made up,” Reno supplied, draining the last of his beer. “How long’s dinner gonna be? I’m fucking starving...”</p>
<hr/><p>They sat around the table, plates piled high. Christmas music still played, but at a volume that was less likely to get Rude evicted. Feeling less hungover, Rufus was nursing a bottle of beer and there was a buzz in the air, fueled by alcohol and good company.</p><p>It wasn’t exactly a family, but it was the closest thing Rude would ever get to one.</p><p>He smiled into his beer bottle, taking a long swig.</p><p>“This is amazing,” said Elena, spearing a piece of turkey on her fork. “Seriously.”</p><p>Reno reached across her, smirking. “It’s <em>okay.</em> Pass the gravy?”</p><p>Tseng rescued Elena’s wine glass before Reno’s elbow sent it flying.</p><p>“Did you find somewhere for New Year?” asked Rufus, turning to Tseng. “You mentioned Costa del Sol?”</p><p>Elena’s ears pricked up. “We’re going away for New Year?”</p><p>“They’re fully booked,” Tseng replied. “It was just an idea.”</p><p>“You should stay in the villa,” said Rufus, spooning cranberry sauce onto his plate. “It’s only collecting dust.”</p><p>Reno leaned back in his chair, listening in on the conversation.</p><p>“We couldn’t do that.” Elena glanced at Tseng. “Could we?”</p><p>He shrugged. “Actually, I was thinking of a trip to Cosmo Canyon.”</p><p>Her eyes widened. “Oh! They have a huge firework display there!”</p><p>“You deserve the break,” said Rufus. “You both do.”</p><p>“What about me?” said Reno, chair legs creaking as he tipped it back a little further.</p><p>Rufus raised an eyebrow. “You don’t work hard enough.”</p><p>“I work plenty hard,” Reno grumbled. “I’m just super fucking efficient. I might look like I’m just kicking back and doing nothing but really I’m-”</p><p>“Kicking back and doing nothing?” Tseng bit into a forkful of food, chewing thoughtfully. “This really is very good, Rude. You’ve outdone yourself.”</p><p>“Aren’t you going back to Icicle Inn?” Elena asked Reno.</p><p>“Nope.” He pointed his fork at Rude. “Swapped with Rude. He hates New Year's, anyway.”</p><p>He wasn’t wrong. Rude didn’t see the fascination with ringing in the New Year. It always seemed such an anti-climax after the Christmas festivities, January bringing with it dreary days and cold weather. The fireworks were pretty, but he preferred his explosives to pack a little more punch.</p><p>“Oh, so I’m not taking Reno to Icicle?” Rufus tried to hold back a relieved smile and failed. “That’s a... shame.”</p><p>“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” demanded Reno.</p><p>Rufus ignored him, turning to Rude. “I’ll be playing poker if you want to buy in.”</p><p>Rude nodded.</p><p>“What's happening in Cosmo Canyon?” Reno was looking at Tseng.</p><p>“There’s a festival,” he replied.</p><p>“So…”</p><p>“Fireworks, stalls...”</p><p>“I might check it out.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Rude paused with his fork halfway to his mouth, his interest piqued in the other half of the conversation. It was unusual for Reno to show an interest in any kind of festival that wasn’t centred around hard liquor, and his usual New Year’s plan involved drinking enough of the stuff to ensure he was passed out and asleep before eleven-thirty. Like Rude, he wasn’t a fan of New Year either.</p><p><em>New Year, new problems,</em> he often joked.</p><p>“You're gatecrashing our trip?” Elena stared at him, her own forkful of food hovering in front of her mouth. “You’ll just be a third wheel.”</p><p>“I’m not gonna gatecrash. I’ll just be there at the same time. Cosmo’s a big place.” The legs of Reno’s chair clattered to the ground as he straightened up, elbows resting on the table. “Seriously. You won’t know I’m there.”</p><p>“You can’t go to Cosmo Canyon by yourself.”</p><p>“Maybe I’m going to ask somebody to come with me,” he replied.</p><p>Four sets of eyes swivelled to fix on Reno. Rude frowned. He’d pulled a few strings to drop a certain barmaid in Icicle Inn, trying to throw Reno a life-ring in the stormy waters he appeared to be drowning in. Judging by Reno’s improved mood, some of the stars must’ve been shoehorned into alignment. He’d stopped sulking around the office, at least.</p><p>A New Year’s trip to Cosmo Canyon, though? Rude hadn’t seen that one coming.</p><p>“What?” asked Reno, oblivious to Rude’s mental calculations. “Why the fuck are you all looking at me like that?”</p><p><em>“You</em> want to take somebody to the New Year’s festival at Cosmo Canyon?” asked Elena, talking slowly, as though she was addressing a child.</p><p>“Maybe… And?”</p><p>
  <em> “Who?” </em>
</p><p>“That’s none of your business.”</p><p>“None of my business? You’ve been trying to get this out of me for months!” She gestured furiously between her and Tseng. “Anyway, if there’s a risk I’m gonna bump into her, I want to know who she is.”</p><p>“I haven’t asked her yet, anyway,” said Reno, stabbing his fork into a roast potato a little too viciously. “Forget it.”</p><p>“Yeah but who-”</p><p>“Pass the carrots?” Rufus held his hand out, and Rude handed him the dish. “I’m with Rude. I don’t like the New Year.”</p><p>“I don’t usually, but this year…” Tseng glanced at Elena. “I thought perhaps it was time to celebrate.”</p><p>“Aww,” said Reno, putting on a baby-voice. “Tseng wuvs Elena.”</p><p>“You know, there should really be <em>two</em> Turks on security detail,” Tseng said pointedly. “How about spending New Year’s at work?”</p><p>Reno held his hands up. “Okay, okay. Too soon. I get it.”</p><p>The tips of Elena’s ears turned pink. “Rude, what did you put in the stuffing? It tastes amazing.”</p><p>“Chestnuts,” he replied, trying not to laugh.</p><p>Tseng was watching her, his expression bemused.</p><p>“Elena, you burn toast.” Reno picked a sprout up off his plate and flicked it at her. It landed in her glass, splashing wine over the table. “Don’t get any grand ideas.”</p><p>“Reno!” She fished the offending vegetable out of her drink.</p><p>Judging by the daggers she was glaring over the table, Reno was about to be in big trouble. Rude silently reached for the ice bucket below the table and handed her a bottle of beer, hoping that the cold drink could help to dampen their spirits.</p><p>“Where’s the bottle open…” She trailed off, staring at the novelty gadget in Reno’s hand. “Right. Of course.”</p><p>“So would you class that as big, or small?” Reno asked, handing it over. His smile was positively angelic.</p><p>She weighed it up in her hand. “How about I shove it up your-”</p><p>“Does anybody want any more meat?” Rude stood up, reaching for the platter the turkey was on. “I can carve more.”</p><p>“I’ll take the knife if you’re not using it,” said Elena.</p><p>Reno quirked an eyebrow. “Is that a threat?”</p><p>“I don’t know. <em>Is it?”</em></p><p>Rude looked to Tseng, a silent plea for assistance.</p><p>“Nobody’s stabbing anybody,” said Tseng, reaching for his drink. “Not until after dessert.”</p><p>“You’d have to catch me first, anyway,” Reno hissed, lining up another sprout.</p><p>“Reno, if you throw that I’m docking your pay,” said Tseng, draining the dregs of his bottle. "Cut it out."</p><p>“I'll support that,” said Rufus. "We need to save some money."</p><p>Reno stared at the sprout, his expression one of genuine surprise. “Now how did that get there?”</p><p>“Who are you bringing, anyway?” Elena pushed her plate aside, clearly not about to drop her line of questioning. “Come on. You know I’ll get it out of you, eventually.”</p><p>“Why do you care?”</p><p>“Because.”</p><p>Reno stared.</p><p>“I need to make sure she’s good enough,” she said.</p><p>Reno dropped his fork. “Oh.”</p><p>It wasn’t often that he was left speechless. Rude watched his cocky grin soften as he stared at his empty plate.</p><p>“And you know… sane,” she added.</p><p>“Is everybody finished?” Rufus tried to change the subject before the argument could start again. “I brought cheesecake for dessert.”</p><p><em>“Bought,”</em> Tseng corrected him.</p><p>“I might’ve made it,” Rufus insisted.</p><p>“Did you?”</p><p>“Well… no… but that’s not the point.”</p><p>“I’ll get it.” Rude picked up Elena’s plate. “Reno, give me a hand?”</p><p>“Oh, I’m <em>allowed</em> to help now?”</p><p>Rude stared at him, eyebrows raised. On cue, Reno stood up, stretching his arms above his head. He reached for Rufus’ empty plate as Tseng leaned over, murmuring something in Elena’s ear.</p><p>She frowned. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“What was that?” asked Rufus.</p><p>“Why do I owe him?” She sounded really confused now. “He didn’t come out and check on me.”</p><p>Rude swore he saw the panic crash over Reno’s expression before his usual sardonic smirk slipped back into place.</p><p>“Sure I did.” Reno forced a laugh. “Then I saw you, puking in the bushes. Thought I’d leave you to it.”</p><p>“I wasn’t puking in the bushes.” Her cheeks were scarlet. “Anyway, I was watching the door. You definitely didn’t leave the bar.”</p><p>Rude stared at Reno. He shifted his weight between his feet. To the untrained eye, it was just idle fidgeting, but to Rude, he looked distinctly uncomfortable. The memory was more than a little bit fuzzy. Reno falling off the booth and disappearing... Rude asking where he was... Tseng insisting he was outside, looking after Elena...</p><p>After that, things were hazy.</p><p>“How about that cheesecake?” Rude said, trying to deflect the inevitable bombshell.</p><p>Too late. Tseng’s expression was unreadable as the penny finally fell. “You stayed at the bar?”</p><p>“Who?” Reno feigned innocence. “Me?”</p><p>“What do you mean, he stayed at the bar?” Elena’s eyes widened as she realised. “Oh, my god…”</p><p>“No,” said Reno quickly. “Don’t even-”</p><p>“You did, didn’t you? You and-”</p><p>“No, no, no,” said Reno, backing away from the table, dirty plates held in front of him as though they could somehow shield him from their questions. “You’ve got it all wrong.”</p><p>“Is that who you want to take to Cosmo Canyon?” Elena asked, mouth hanging open.</p><p>“No!”</p><p>Rufus frowned. “Have I missed something?”</p><p>“Apparently so,” said Tseng.</p><p>“Look… it was just… and I…” Reno rallied, grabbing another empty plate. “It was a fucking <em>idea</em>, okay? Chill out.”</p><p>He looked at Rude, eyes pleading. Rude shrugged helplessly. He had no idea how to derail the train they were on.</p><p>“Yeah, but Reno… she used to be… and we used to be…” Elena shook her head, struggling to grasp the straws she was clutching at. “Are you insane?”</p><p>“Is somebody going to explain?” asked Rufus.</p><p>“Reno’s bitten off more than he can chew,” said Tseng dryly, standing up. He picked up his own plate and took the others from Rude’s unresisting hands. “Rude, sit down. You’ve worked hard enough… Besides, me and Reno need to have a little <em>chat.”</em></p><p>“Oh man,” Reno moaned, following Tseng into the corridor. “It’s fucking Christmas. Can’t you at least wait until tomorrow?”</p><p>“Well… I didn’t see that one coming,” said Elena.</p><p>Rude shook his head. If he was totally honest, neither did he.</p><p>“So…” Rufus stood up. “Cheesecake?”</p><p>“I’d give them a minute.” Elena looked up, catching Rude’s eye. She grinned.</p><p>He could only grin back. Reno had certainly talked himself out of trickier situations before. And there weren’t exactly <em>rules </em>about fraternising with the enemy. Not ones that were written down, at any rate.</p><p>He settled back in his chair, full of food and spirits high. He could see a nap in his near future before the inevitable squabbling started again.</p><p>Maybe they weren’t exactly a family, but Rude wouldn’t change a single one of them for the world.</p>
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